The Masterpiece Crafted by the “Divine Brush” in My Life

號角月報加拿大版 二零二五年五月

It wasn't until college that I earnestly sought God. During those years—and even after graduation—I experienced wonderful fellowship that gradually transformed my understanding and experience of Him.

The early stages of my illness became a turning point in my spiritual life. I realized that God was truly what I had been seeking all my life: an inexhaustible source of discovery and understanding. I also experienced the warmth of His presence, which eased my worries about work and finances. I came to understand that life is not meant merely for survival or striving for promotions and pay raises. Ultimately, all these realizations were like a "cushion" that God had pre-placed in my heart, enabling me to endure the challenges of my serious illness in the days to come.

After earning my bachelor's degree in accounting in Ontario, I quickly entered the workforce. About a year later, I began experiencing health issues. Initially, I dismissed them as a common skin problem, with symptoms like itching and redness. However, the condition progressively worsened—my fingers became swollen and purplish, my skin developed numerous acne-like bumps, and I started experiencing muscle weakness. My walking pace slowed significantly, and I developed a persistent cough.

Perhaps due to my lack of social experience, I faced high levels of stress at work daily, struggled with insomnia at night, and encountered interpersonal issues at the company. On top of that, my strong desire to obtain an accounting license added significant pressure and negatively impacted my mood. All of these factors might have contributed to the onset of my illness.

Upon learning about my illness, my mother quickly came from Hong Kong to Toronto to take care of me. The heavy dosage of steroids prescribed by the doctor caused numerous side effects, but with my mother's support, my condition slightly improved.

Unexpectedly, in August of the same year, my mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer. As a result, she took me back to Hong Kong to be with my father and sister so the family could care for each other more conveniently. However, after returning to Hong Kong, my condition deteriorated. The hot weather was not conducive to recovery, and my mother's health kept worsening until she passed away a few months later. This had a profound impact on my emotional state.

By the end of 2018, my illness remained uncontrolled, and new symptoms kept emerging. These included peeling, redness, and itching on my face; sores, pus, itching, and pain in my hand joints—which would occasionally scab but caused extreme pain when the scabs pulled at the wounds. Similar issues appeared on my elbows and shoulders, severely affecting my daily life. Every morning, the areas on my toes with pus would swell and ache intensely.

The lungs are among the organs most affected by this condition, and this was the doctors' greatest concern. Approximately 24% of patients face severe lung-related issues, which may require a lung transplant or, in some cases, lead to death from acute lung disease. A doctor once told me that I might need a lung transplant at any time, greatly alarming both me and my family.

During that time, I was living alone in Canada, as my mother had passed away and my father and sister remained in Hong Kong. With no one available to provide round-the-clock care for six months, I faced the challenges entirely on my own. In late 2018, my father decided to leave behind all his responsibilities in Hong Kong and come to be with me. It was later discovered that the doctor had made a mistake, but my father's presence brought me immense comfort and relief.

In the early days after my father's arrival, I was still recovering in the hospital. At that time, I frequently had a fever, and the inflammation in my hands became severe—not only was it extremely painful, but it also discharged pus. Combined with muscle weakness throughout my body, I lacked the strength to sit up or stand and often fell, resembling a frail elderly person.

There was even an incident when I was climbing the stairs and suddenly lost strength in my legs on the last few steps. I fell forward and couldn't get up on my own, having to wait for someone to help me. During that period, my father endured many hardships. Having been away from Canada for years, he had much to adjust to himself. However, under his loving care, my condition gradually improved.

In the early stages of my illness, I found that spending time each day in spiritual reflection and Bible reading became an essential part of my life, providing strength. One particularly moving scripture is Joshua 1:9: "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."

This scripture deeply moves me. It's as though Joshua took up the baton to fulfill the mission of entering Canaan, which Moses had not completed. I feel that God is telling me, "You are Joshua." My mother's dreams and passion for art, her care and mission for others, and her faith and reliance on God—all these are legacies I am to carry forward and fulfill.

At times, I also see myself as Job, afflicted with sores from head to toe and scraping himself with pottery shards—haven't I had similar experiences? However, in moments of loneliness, I feel God's presence even more profoundly and find comfort in many passages of scripture.

I started painting in 2017 after a friend from Hong Kong gave me a set of watercolors. Since then, I’ve developed a deep interest in watercolor painting. Strangely enough, despite the severe pain in my fingers, their inability to straighten on their own, a ruptured tendon in my right middle finger, and the swelling and discharge, I have been able to paint.

What’s more, I can create intricate and delicate works. I never imagined that daily painting could be such a powerful form of release and self-expression. Each time I complete a painting, I feel a great sense of accomplishment, and through this process, I have experienced healing.

However, in 2019, I received a notification that if I didn’t complete the exams by 2020, my previous accounting records would be invalidated. So, I sought God’s guidance—did He want me to return to the accounting profession?

Surprisingly, God made my path in art clearer through an event: while I was hospitalized, I met an artist. After seeing my paintings, he encouraged me to continue developing in this direction, which gave me great encouragement. I wondered why God allowed me to meet an artist rather than an accountant. It was as though He was guiding me toward a new purpose.

This moment became a turning point. Of course, God also continuously encouraged me through His words, and I embarked on the path of painting.

In 2020, I started digital painting. I thank God for giving me the opportunity during the pandemic to create even more artworks. During that time, my condition also improved, and my fingers were no longer inflamed.

By 2023, I felt my physical and mental strength had recovered significantly. By early 2024, I was able to stop oral medications and now only require an annual intravenous treatment, with reduced dosage and frequency.

What’s even more amazing is that through the assistance of the CCM, my dream came true—they compiled my paintings from 2019 to 2020 into a published art book, organized a solo exhibition for me, and even released a calendar. All of this is God’s grace.

Rebecca Kwan